Scott: Welcome back to the 2024 Nebraska Primary Debates and now the opening statement from the Incumbent Imbecile, Donny Rotten Bacon.

Donny rotten: I’m about doing the right thing for Nebraska and the right thing is sending all your money to Israel and Ukraine.  I was the one who kept Nebraskans safe by wasting billions on masks and special shots for the made-up national emergency.   I’m  keeping an eye on Nebraskans by passing legislation that allows for warrantless unconstitutional spying on you, but keeping the southern border wide open for illegals, and paying for invading enemy soldiers hotel rooms.  I served Nebraskan’s when I climbed the career ladder in the military on my knees and helped turn the armed forces into a gay joke.  Recently, my partners an I disrespected Nebraska and Memorial Park with our presence when we held an open-to-the-public campaign event, that no one attended, except for over 100 Nebraska LGBTQ+ Leaders who all came together to endorse me.  I’m all about bringing Nebraskan’s together and doing the right thing for Israel, Ukraine, and everyone except Nebraska.

Scott: Well there you have it folks, Donny Rotten says he’s all about Nebraska except insert the words “selling out”, between “about’, and “Nebraska”.  We’ll be right back with our expert’s reaction.

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